


I won't give up

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Daredevil (TV), MCU, Marvel, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Abortion, Pregnancy, don't blame me for trying, ugly crying if you're sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 05:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12269982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: Pregnancy was not in your plans, and apparently neither in Frank Castle's. If you're afraid, he's terrified to death, and he will surely let you know._____“(Y/N)…” his eyes darted from your eyes to your growing belly. “Hey…”“Hi Frank.” You greeted, pursing your lips in a thin line. You kept a hand on your belly, fearing that something could happen just by seeing him. “Uhh–come on in…” You stepped aside, opening the door enough for him to pass, and he did.





	I won't give up

You needed to take a few deep breaths before you could even think of getting inside the bathroom. The timer on your phone had been ringing for about a minute, but it definitely seemed like it had been more; like an hour of that stupid ringtone you had. You took a mental note to start looking for some new ones or making your own out of a few songs you’d totally hate.

“Come on, (Y/N),” you cheered on yourself, “you got this, baby,”

And just as if you were entering a haunted house, you got inside the bathroom. The monsters were waiting for you inside it; okay, it was just one. But you had never been more terrified in your life. Not even that time when you thought Frank Castle was after you. By now, Frank Castle was the lesser of evils.

The monster, a.k.a pregnancy test, was waiting for you, and when you peeked on it from afar trying to stay as away from it as possible, you just didn’t see shit. You made yourself walk one step, and then another, until you were touching the monster with your hands and bringing it closer for a better look. You sighed and threw the evidence on the trashcan and went to lay on your bed.

You must have lost notion of time, because out of a sudden it was very late and someone was knocking at your door. You walked slowly to the front door and there he was. Frank Castle was outside your door, smiling and bringing with him your favorite candies. You smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“You hungry, baby?” You carelessly asked.

“You ok?” Frank asked back. “You never call me like that.”

_Oh shit._ “No, I’m good," you shook your head lightly, still heading to the kitchen. “Why?”

Frank cocked an eyebrow and that’s all it took for him to make your cover blow up. You started to stutter, to sweat and you played with your hands a lot; all this in a matter of a few seconds. He sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him. You reluctantly sat down next to him, but trying to avoid every type of affection from him that, to say the truth, were always limited and came out a bit cold sometimes, but whenever he worried about you, he became a marshmallow. That was exactly what you didn’t need tonight.

“Frank, dammit!” You hissed, pushing him away. “Can you just not-?”

“Okay,” he frowned in exasperation, “you either tell me what’s going on or I swear to god-” he took a deep breath. “Is this that time of the month again?” He taunted.

“Excuse me?” You replied coldly, cocking an eyebrow at him and folding your arms over your chest. If this was a competition on who was the most annoying, he was sure as hell going to win. “There’s no way in heaven I’m in one of ‘those days’–” you signaled with your fingers the imaginary commas of your voice– “because for that, I would need to not be pregnant,” you avowed and smiled widely, feeling proud of how hormones had not kicked in until now, the worst of moments. You were surely on the verge of either cuddling Frank or killing him with one of his own weapons; you were not sure which one would come first.

In the room there were two moods and two moods only: your proud and bitchy one… And his. Saying he was a bit speechless was a bit of an understatement, and thanks to it, your own mood went down a few degrees, becoming again the normal you. You caught your bottom lip in between your teeth and tried to catch Frank’s attention, but he was sitting and staring into nothing. Guilt started to kick in, and apologies didn’t take long from your part. You cupped his face and caressed his scarred cheeks softly, trying to get him back from wherever he was at the moment.

“Frank, please…” you pleaded, “say something?”

“How… H-how did this happen?” He murmured and gently put your hands down and away from him. He massaged his temples roughly. “(Y/N), how?” He looked at you and you had never seen him more troubled than now. He wanted an answer, but you could see in his eyes how he tried to find an explanation on his own. He rubbed his jaw as if it helped him understand things, but the longer the silence grew between you, more confused be became.

“Well…” you sighed, “uhhh-the bee and the flower…?” You played with your fingers. “You know, daddy plants a seed on mommy’s belly?” You shrugged, trying to make the situation lighter. Of course it didn’t work.

“(Y/N), I know _that_ ,” he looked at you, “what I don’t know is… Wait-weren’t you on the pill?” He inquired, almost accusingly.

“And didn’t you wear a fucking condom?” You shot back, using that same annoying and accusing voice. “If we’re gonna start blaming one another, then you might as well don’t let the door hit you when it closes,” you jumped from the couch and walked to the small island that separated the kitchen from the living room. You needed to be away from him. “Jesus, Frank,” you turned around to glance at him, he was still struck by the news, “aren’t you gonna say something else?”

“We have to go to a clinic,” he babbled. “Come on–” he made a beckoning sign at you, exasperated as it can be– “get your things; we’re leaving right now. I’m gonna call Karen; she’ll know what to do and where to go,” he hurried you.

“Let me stop you right there, Frank–” you shook your hands– “we’re not going anywhere,” you folded your arms over your chest.

“And I am not having another child, (Y/N)!” He growled, rising from the couch as well. You had never seen him fighting crime that’s why you were not very scared of being with him, but the way his voice came out so harshly and the carelessness he used to suggest abortion were freaking you out. You couldn’t believe that a man so cold and heartless could have had a family before, and you for the first time, doubted if to have the baby with him. “You know the people I deal with!” he continued after a moment to, apparently, think of what to say. “You fucking know that”

“Then fuck me right?” You rose your voice, pointing at yourself with both hands. “Yeah, fuck me, because I am carrying a baby and daddy doesn’t want it. Fuck me because daddy didn’t wear a fucking condom. Fuck me because daddy didn’t think before fucking me, right?” You reproached.

“Walk in my shoes for once in your goddamned life, kid!” He barked. “You have no idea how it’s like. Parenting ain’t no children’s game,”

“Then teach me!” You yelled. “Put a little effort in it, Frank! But don’t come here looking for the quickest and easiest runaway option while I don’t get a fucking vote on it!”

“Get your damned things and go with me to a clinic or so help me god–” he growled even louder and took the few steps that kept you two apart. This was scary; he was very scary. He was surely tall as hell and fucking built up, so he was like you put together two times, but now he looked even bigger with the air income and you were only getting smaller.

“Then godspeed,” you gulped, feeling tired of fighting a man who was not giving up at all on his side, but he was indeed giving up on you. Neither were you, but honestly talking, it was you who had a life forming inside you. You were shaking because he was very, very close. You found a space to sneak out and once you managed to get yourself away from him and together you declared. “If you’re gonna give up on me–on both of us, that’s fine,” you nodded your head once, “but I can’t give up on myself; not now. So please, don’t let the door hit you on your way out,”

“(Y/N), please…” he finally looked more relaxed. “Don’t do this…”

“You give me no choice, Frank,” you replied arrogantly. “Goodbye.”

And without further delay, Frank left your house and your life. You pressed your back to the door and slid until you hit the floor and cried what didn’t cry all afternoon. You held your knees tightly and you didn’t even bother about the redness of your face or someone seeing you. There was no one there, but you could have sworn someone was on the other side of the door, placing a big head against it and listening to you.

“It’s okay…” you mumbled, placing your hands on your belly, “we’ll be fine.”

And you were fine. Somehow Karen had found about it –probably thanks to Frank– and she made sure you were to all your doctor’s appointments and that you had all your vitamins and overall that you were healthy. You two were never really together; she was part of Frank’s world you were not allowed in and that was fine, but once she reached out for you, she became like a sister. You were grateful that at least Frank did something right for you. Karen even introduced you to her friends and bosses and even they started to care about you and pamper you and your bun in the oven.

Four months later and your belly was already showing off. The baby was growing up healthy and you, even though not having Frank, were happier than ever and everyone you knew said you looked radiant. You truly had that pregnant glow everyone talked about. You survived the morning sickness on your own and you had no doubt you’d make it to delivery day.

You tried not to think about Frank. It just wasn’t healthy; worrying about a man who ran with the devil almost daily was out of your league. You often thought about his offer, the “what ifs” and whatnots. You kinda understood why he offered, with time you did. But it still amazed you the simplicity of speech. Like he didn’t even wanted to think about truly having a baby with you.

“ _He’s going to see you. Sorry I couldn’t stop him_ ”

Those two sentences were the text from Karen and its 9 words were like a snowball in the face. All your efforts to keep yourself together went to shit in 9 words. You tried to cheer on yourself, saying comforting words to make you feel less terrified, but it was useless. You hadn’t seen Frank in 4 months and you were expecting a wide range of emotions from him.

The two knocks on the door almost gave you a heart attack, but there was no turning back from there. You took a deep breath and held the knob tightly before twisting it and see the same ol’ Frank Castle. He looked as terrible and bruised as he always did, but it didn’t give you the feeling of home it always did. In the old days, he would come home all beaten up and you’d clean him up and have a cuddle/make up session after. Now all you wanted was for him to leave.

“(Y/N)…” his eyes darted from your eyes to your growing belly. “Hey…”

“Hi Frank,” you greeted, pursing your lips in a thin line. You kept a hand on your belly, fearing that something could happen just by seeing him. “Uhh–come on in…” You stepped aside, opening the door enough for him to pass, and he did.

Out of a sudden, he places his big hands on your waist and pulls you in for the sweetest and neediest kiss you two had ever shared. His hands were tender and careful, just as if you were made of porcelain, but with everything that had happened, you were bulletproof. His fearful lips finally won the battle of your rejection, and when you decided to give in, you roamed your fingers up his arms and to his neck, intertwining them behind it and feeling how your tiny bun felt joyous than ever.

The tears didn’t have time to pool on your eyes, they just freely ran down your cheeks and mixed with the sweet flavor his lips allowed. You hated to admit it and so you never did, but you missed Frank. You missed the excellent parent he would be, you missed how he would spoil you with candies and all the little things you knew he knew you loved.

One of the hands that rested on your waist came up to the back of your neck and pulled you apart from him just a little. The Punisher’s forehead was now pressed against yours as you two caught your breaths and shed a few tears. Yours louder than his. He wiped away your tears with the hand that was once resting on your waist; the other was still on the back of your neck.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” he breathed, “I’m so sorry–so, so sorry,” he apologized as he kissed your cheeks so lovingly that you could have might as well died from diabetes right there. This was a side of Frank you didn’t know and it was not in your bucket list to meet. You held on to his wrists as you sobbed your last tears. “How are you? Have you been feeling alright?”

“Yeah,” your voice sounded choked, “I survived morning sickness,” you let out a breathy chuckle that completely changed the mood between you two.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to hold your hair and rub your back,” he apologized again. “I’m so, so sorry for being an ass–” he fell silent again –“How’s…?” Frank looked down at your belly.

“Baby bun is doing fine,” you nodded.

He let go of you and sunk on his knees. Pressing his head against your growing belly he finally freed himself from all shame and cried so gloomily that you were about to burst in tears again. He babbled something you didn’t understand, until you heard him saying “I’m sorry” again.

“Frank?” You asked, “Frank what’s going on?”

“I just couldn’t do this anymore…” he looked up to you, searching for forgiveness in your once so loving eyes, “I couldn’t live knowing you were out there pregnant,”

“Frank, I don’t need–”

“Hear me out a bit,” he sighed, “I know what I said, and until today it still wanders in my mind and I know I was in no position to tell you to go that same night to get a… You know what. But I couldn’t properly tell you the reasons why,” You tried to stop him from continuing, this was a serious hit to your mental stability that was so hard to get. He stood up again, looking as tall as usual and walked you to the couch that witnessed so many nights of love. He made you sit, treating you like a princess, and he sat on the table in front of it. “You know what happened to my wife and kids, I became this because of them. I couldn’t and I still can’t bear the fear of losing you and the baby just because of who I am, (Y/N). It terrifies me to death just to know that there’s a list of people out there wanting to hurt you in the most awful ways,” he intertwined his hands and nervously tapped the hardwood floor. “I can take a lot from them. Their bullets, their punches, everything they got. But you getting hurt? I’d rather die,” Frank looked up at you just to find you about to burst in tears, again. “(Y/N), I know you’ve moved on, or at least you’ve tried–”

“And here we are know,” you breathily giggled, “four months have just gone to shit,” you wiped the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. “I was doing so well, you know," you felt so silly for crying and laughing at the same time that you couldn’t speak for a minute. “I think I always understood why you said that. It just hurt to see how little you cared about what I felt. You didn’t stop to ask what I wanted and if I wanted it,” you looked up to him again, “If I had the choice, baby bun wouldn’t be here probably, but you didn’t give me time to think of the choices. I do want to apologize for the things I said, they were horrible and… I’m just very sorry,”

“I’m not gonna ask you to pick up where we left off as if nothing ever happened because you and I are no fools,” he nodded his head once, “but… I’d really love to have the chance to prove I still got the parenting skill and to help you,”

“I would very much appreciate that, Frankie,” You smiled, calling him by the name he hated the most that you always used to tease him. He sighed and smiled widely. “Well, baby bun and I would appreciate that,” You rubbed your bump with your hands. “Do you…?” He nodded and reached out his hand. You took it and stood up with him.

You placed his hand on your belly; the roughness of it seemed familiar and it brought a feeling of home that you hadn’t had in a while now. Frank kneeled in front of you and pressed his forehead against your bump again. This time there were tears of joy instead.

“Hey… People say you can hear me from there and… I just wanted to tell you that I know you heard me saying some nasty shit, but that was not what I meant. I was afraid and I still am, but your mommy right there has, once again, made me understand,” He stood up again and placed a hand under your chin, lifting your face just a little. “I love you, (Y/N),”


End file.
